Women of God, let’s talk marriage. For those of you who desire to be married listen up. 

Gods original design for marriage was for women to be helpmates, Genesis 2:18 NKJV, “And the Lord God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.” If we look at the verses before we get to verse 18, you see God putting Adam to work to tend and to keep the garden of Eden. Genesis 2:15 NKJV, “Then the Lord God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to tend and keep it.”

We don’t see where the woman is helping Adam get it out the mud. 

It is NOT for the woman to help a man get it out the mud, but to help him in his God-given assignment. Most people like to boast in the fact of having to help a man get it out the mud as a way of “true” love, when that doesn’t even equate to “true love”. 

The “ride or die” mentality is not biblical at all, but enduring is. Enduring in your walk with God, not when you are dating someone. Let that man figure it out with God, not with you. He has to seek God about the will of God on his life and his assignment. 

1 Corinthians 13:4 NKJV says, “Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails…”

When you walk in love, you are walking out the definition of what God describes as love. Not what the world describes as love. Love is an action, yes emotions are involved, however how you act out of your emotions shows how you truly love other people, be it your spouse, significant other, family members, friends…etc.

Let me clarify what I mean when I say, “get it out the mud”. I am referring to men who may be down bad, ex. Living at home with ones parents, lost a job, no vehicle, no sense of direction as to where he would want to move in life, and the most important is whether or not he walks with God. This is not speak down on those who may have hit rock bottom or just going through a rough patch, rough season in life. Life happens to everyone, however trying to find a wife and you’re living with your mama, no job, can’t take care of children you may have had previously from relationships, don’t trust God, shows absolutely no sign of wanting to better themselves, yeah those men RUN FAR AWAY! They are looking for a come up OR worst will be used by the enemy to try to destroy you- woman of God. 

We are naturally nurtures, we naturally want to help whoever we love to be better at what he is doing. It is in us, that is how God created us to be, but woman of God, don’t help no man who is not your husband. Period point blank. That man want to be with you during a time where he needs to be seeking God concerning His plan for his life, be his friend. Just don’t put yourself in situation where you see his potential and act on his potential versus him actually walking in his God-given assignment. DON’T MARRY A MAN WHO HAS POTENTIAL and shows NO signs of acting on his potential. You are not his mother, God gave him a mother and a father, and if neither one of his parents cultivated him to be a man, then that job is for God- NOT YOU!

There is a difference between helping someone who is just your friend versus helping someone who is more than just a friend. Your friend you want to genuinely see that person do well and succeed, there is no gain for wanting to see your friend succeed except pure joy from seeing them win. But let’s say you help your significant other to be better in his career and you are doing it out of the idea that he will marry you when, it’s not a guarantee. He could use you to come up and very much drop you once he gets to where he wants to be in life. Use discernment when it comes to dating and wanting to help a man get it out of the mud. Ask the Lord if this is an assignment for you or just a prayer that you need to intercede on his behalf. Allow the Lord to develop that man in areas that needs to be developed so that he can be the man of God that God has called him to be, not the man that YOU want him to be for YOUR own benefit. All of this is for the Kingdom of God- He get’s the glory out of everything. 

Matthew 6:33 NKJV says. “But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.”

Yes, we are helpmates, but that man of God has to already be walking in his God-given assignment for us to help. That does not mean that he has made it in life, because why else would God send us to help him. While you are waiting allow the Lord to develop you, it’s not just him that needs to be seeking God for his assignment, but you too. The Proverbs 31 woman was an entrepreneur, she cared for those who worked for her, handled her house needs early in the morning and made sure that she was locked in with the Lord. Her relationship with God was there. We as women MUST seek God for everything. You want to be married, as the Lord to reveal to you all that needs to be removed and refined for the sake of His son that He will send to you for marriage. God is Holy, marriage is sacred and marriage will confront a lot of things that if you don’t allow the Lord to reveal what needs to be revealed it may very well come out in your marriage (depending on the severity of what is deeply hidden).

Marriage is beautiful when it is God ordained. 

It is not you and him, it is we. Y’all are one. Matthew 19:5-6 NKJV says, “and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.” 

Until next time, be blessed woman of God and allow the Lord to order your steps. 

XOXO 

The Redeemed & Refined Co.